Goblin Trash-Barges

3d6 Goblins crew this disgusting perversion of maritime tradition. It sails the largest drains, occasionally fishing out choice pieces of effluence. d4 Goblins must be bailing out poop water or it will sink in d4 rounds. One of the goblins is the captain, and has double hit dice. The crew only occasionally fight themselves, and less occasionally they fight other wandering monsters. (d10 roll: 1 & 2 - They are scrapping amongst themselves, double chance to be surprised, 3, 4 & 5 - fighting another wandering monster, bonus points for another Trash-Barge (in which case they fight to the death))
One of the Barges was flushed through the Valves and by some miracle it survived the trip down. Now it sails the Dredge lake, though it can never return home.
Each Barge has at least one Deck weapon, a 1 in 3 chance of having two deck weapons, and a 1 in 3 chance of having a modification.
All Deck weapons require two goblins using their actions to use, except for fake goblins which is automatically activated at the start of combat.
Goblin Trash-Barges have 4d4 Integrity points. If an attack deals at least 20 damage to the barge, it removes an Integrity point. Each time the barge loses an integrity point, roll a d12. If the result is more than the Barge’s integrity points, the Barge is destroyed, killing half of the goblins on board, and dumping the remained in the drink.

d6 Trash-Barge Modifications
1 - Spider Legs: The ship can travel on the ground on mechanical spider legs. If attacked, and dealt 20 damage in total, the ship loses a point of integrity and becomes immobile.
2 - Very Fancy Flag: A symbol made from spread excrement adorns this filthy sheet. While it flies, all goblins that can see it always pass Morale Checks.
3 - Living Figurehead: Fights like a goblin, but can’t move. Can be killed like a goblin, which inflicts a point of hull damage. It is wooden, but quite flimsy.
4 - Submersible: Can travel beneath the water, silently. Relatively silently. If it has taken any damage, when the barge submerges it immediately sinks, killing all on board.
5 - Rocket Boosters: When activated, the ship immediately moves forward 60 feet, and then a further 60 feet at the end of the next turn. Each time this happens, the Barge loses a point of integrity.
6 - Crow’s Nest: Has a cage on the top of the mast. Full of crows. They are very noisey. And they shit everywhere. No further benefit.

d10 Trash-Barge Deck-Weapons
1 - Cannon: Target player must make a DC 9 dexterity save. Then, roll a d6. 1 - The cannon actually fires, the target player takes 10d10 bludgeoning damage if they failed their saving throw. 2 - It belches out flame instead, all creatures within a 10 foot cone, originating from the cannon aimed at the original target, take 2d6 fire damage.. 3 - It was a dud, and the cannon does not fire this turn. 4 - The cannon slightly explodes, killing one of the goblins crewing it. 5 - The Cannon really explodes, killing all goblins within 5 feet, dealing 2d6 fire damage to other creatures within 5 feet, and removing an integrity point from the Barge. 6 - The Cannon really really explodes, destroying the ship, and killing all goblins on board, and dealing 4d8 fire damage to everything else on board.
2 - Chain-Flenser: A wooden, crank-powered disk with chains attached. When spun, the chains whip around, dealing 2d4 slashing and 2d4 bludgeoning damage to non-goblin creatures within 5 feet of it. The first time it is used in a combat however, it also flenses d3 goblins.
3 - Harpoon Gun: Makes a ranged attack against a creature. If it hits, it deals d6 damage to the target, who must then make a Strength saving throw. If they fail, they are dragged next to the barge, and is restrained. If the target passes the saving throw, the harpoon is ripped off of the deck of the barge, removing a point of integrity.
4 - Fist-Box-O-Matic: When activated, draw a 10 foot line from the weapon. The first creature on the line must make a dexterity saving throw, taking 2d6 bludgeoning damage on a failure. If the creature succeeds, the next creature on the line must make the same save. If all creatures on the line succeed, the fist is broken, and acts as difficult terrain.
5 - Gattling Gun: This weapon is just a wooden wheel with 4 goblins strapped to it with bows. As the wheel is spun, the goblins fire their bows, and they are trained only to fire when the wheel spins. The more it spins, the dizzier the goblins get. When the Gun is spun, it makes four bow attacks. Each time the wheel is spun, the bow attacks get a cumulative -1 to hit. The goblins can be attacked as normal, and are automatically hit. Many goblins either have an absolute blast being part of the gun, or absolutely despise it and their crew-mates.
6 - Grapeshot Cannon: Its a cannon that shoots mushed up grapes. When aimed at a creature, it must make a dexterity save or be blinded until the end of its next turn.
7 - Sword-Arms: Has many mechanical arms armed with swords attached to its side. The Barge can make d6 goblin sword attacks when it is activated. If any roll 1 on their attack roll, it breaks, and future rolls for the number of attacks gain a cumulative -1. If this roll ever rolls a negative number, the Sword-Arms breaks, killing the goblins manning it, and removing a point of integrity of the Barge.
8 - Lightning Orb: When activated, this metal orbs sparks with lightning. Roll a d10. On a roll of 1 or 2, a bolt of lightning strikes the goblins manning it, killing them. On a 3 or 4, it strikes another member of the crew, killing them. On a 5 or 6, it strikes a random creature, dealing d4 lightning damage. On a 7 to 8, it strikes d4 random creatures dealing d4 lightning damage. On a 9 or 10, it strikes a random creature and dealing d4d10 lightning damage.
9 - Fake Goblins: Literally sacks of shit, inexpertly dressed to look like something somewhat adjacent to goblins. Flung out of the side of the Barge at the start of the fight, between 5 and 10 feet from the side of the ship. If a character misses an attack by more than 5 whilst within 5 feet of the barge’s side, make a save vs. poison or be poisoned until the end of your next turn. Only the most delusional creatures actually would mistake these for actual goblins.

10 - Self-Destruct Button: When pressed, destroys the ship, and all creatures within 20 feet of the button take 8d6 fire damage. Needless to say all goblins on board will be slain.

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