Some Bits and Bobs from Heat Signature

So I've been playing and reading a bit about Heat Signature; its super neat.

Here's some things I like about it.

1. The Random Generation

The space boats are cool, and I think Tom's got some (unintentional) interesting things to say about dungeon-design as such in his blog posts about the development of the ship's generation. Here's a link: https://www.pentadact.com/tag/procedural-generation/

2. The Gadgets

Easily my second favourite part of the game. Here are the three types of teleporter it uses:
Side-winder: You just teleport there, but there must be a clear line to get there (no closed doors for example)
Switcher: You switch places with someone, otherwise, no limits.
Visitor: You just go somewhere, no limits; BUT you go back to where you were when you activated it after two seconds (which in Heat Signature can be a long damn time.
Each has its own uses (though the Side-Winder unfortunately just seems to me to be the most usually useful) and I have great anecdotes about all of them, though they suffer similarly from the DnD anecdote problem where they are far more exciting in the actual playing than in the re-telling. They do roughly involve:
- Having literally 13 seconds to capture my target on the other side of the ship before they teleport off forever. Cue mad teleport dashing with a side-winder and shooting key-card-carrying-guards to get there in the nick of time. 
- Having accidentally jettisoned the only guard carrying the key to my objective into space, so using the visitor I picked up to slip inside just long enough to pick it up.
- Killing about a dozen guards who all teleported in on me by switching around them and unloading a couple of shots over and over so they could never quite get a bead on me in a glorious explosion of violence.

And that's leaving out my exploits including:
- Getting a jammer accidentally shot when he opened a door with a sentry gun behind him, which saw me, and fired, killing the Jammer.
- Grabbing my rescue target and deciding to take the window out into space to get picked up by my remote pod (a much better idea in this game than in real life presumably. The next few steps all happen in the same split second, in this order.
1. I fire my gun.
2. A half dozen guards hear the gun shot and teleport right next to me.
3. The bullet breaks the window.
4. All of us are jettisoned into space.
5. The Pod picks up my character and the rescue target before we asphyxiate.
6. We do not pick up the other guards. 
Similarly, watching a predator (the most dangerous contractor you can run into) step on a glitch trap, and get teleported off into space never gets old.

Oh, maybe I should say,

3. The Endlessly Entertaining Anecdotes.


4. The Death System

Its good. 
If you get knocked out, you're fine and will wake up soon. Unless they throw you into space, in which case you have an 02 bar while you float about in space, during which you can control your pod to pick you up. You only die if it runs out, and its quite generous.
Getting shot (or stabbed) is similar. You fall unconscious, and have 30 seconds before you bleed out. I'm not 100% sure how it works after this, but roughly speaking there are check-points in the bleed-out process which, once you pass, limit the maximum amount of time you can bleed out in the future. If you're quick, you won't bleed out much, and you'll still have plenty of time next time. If you faff about, you'll really struggle later.
I feel like there's some kind of system in there for DnD which is similar to 5e's, but better.
Briefly, back to the game, you can also sometimes end a character's run by being captured by one of the factions, which brings in a delightful element of the game. One of the available replacement characters will be spawned with a personal mission to rescue the character who was captured.

5. It has my favourite Style of Stealth.

This could possibly be a blog post on its own, but in short, there are a few ways missions go down.
1 - You figure out you don't have the kit to actually do the mission, and bug out. (Thankfully rare, and there are also no penalties for aborting missions, which is good.)
2 - The mission goes perfectly, and you execute the mission with slickness and precision. Very satisfying.
3 - You beat your head against the wall over and over, getting repeatedly thrown out the air-lock until eventually, you make it through. Aggravating if it happens too often, but still good.
4 - The Perfect Storm; These are the missions that are really just outside your capabilities as a player and/or character, but not quite, and they are the best. You infiltrate initially, maintaining stealth or concealable violence as long as you can, the tension mounting as you delve deeper into the ship until the barrier bursts, and all hell breaks loose. Guards are running and teleporting in all over the place, you're throwing out gadget charges left and right, using up that subvertor you swore you'd keep for the personal mission, teleporting that visitor you found ages ago in the first crate to you to deal with the guard, shooting your assassination target in the face, and then shooting out a window to throw yourself into space to escape, and then you release the pent up tension in your lungs.

I have a few gripes with the game, like how Guard Armour is an impassable barrier until it isn't, but shields are impassable until you begin to be able to sort of deal with them, but you never then progress to a point like with armour where they aren't a deal at all.
Most of my other issues are that there isn't more of it really.

If it looks like fun in the trailer, there's a tonne more than I've talked about like character traits, the rad progression system, and the neat music and visuals. Check it out. 

10 + 2 Animal Kings

A long time ago I wrote about some kinds of spirits which dwell in the untravelled places of the world. I don't know how much I still like the idea of basically everything being a spirit of some kind, but hey-o, here are some spirits in the shapes of animals! They are the exemplars of their kinds, mostly-natural, that warp the world around them to better reflect their needs and natures. 

Here are the first 10 (plus 2 silly ones) I've been able to churn out.

Ankhegs - Growth
The Queens of Ankhegs are almighty insects, legs like tree-trunks and shovel-ended. Their mouths drip with Alkahest, the universal solvent, and their piercing cries can shatter glass at their highest and split the earth at their deepest. Thankfully, they are really quite lazy and love to luxuriate deep in the earth. They bully other Ankhegs into serving, and carve out enormous cave systems with grand pillars and vast halls. They are spirits of growth, and their lairs are always overflowing with plants which constantly fight  the long slow wars for light and nutrients that plants always fight, but in a constant, furious slaughter, fueled by the presence of the Queen of Ankhegs.
The heart of her lair is so choked with vines and roots and creepers that moving through it is more like swimming or digging like the worm does, and with her acid-slathered maw, the Ankheg Queen most certainly can dig through it quicker than you can...

Apes - Fire
The King of Apes, unlike it is commonly supposed, are not much bigger than their lesser cousins. They still need to climb, but they will still stand head and shoulders above other apes. The most marked difference will be their pair of extra arms, and the flames they hold in their second palms. They are mysterious, and hold deep loves for their flames, which they protect with all their might. Some say they are care-takers of the forests in which they live, and decide when it is time for fire to ravage the land, that new growth can begin. Their families are sometimes described as being almost entire cities of apes, with the Ape-King sat in meditation, clasping its flame in the highest branches of the mightiest trees.
The oldest legends say that it was the Ape-Kings who first plucked fire from the heavens, and shared the gift with man, but man spurned their generosity, and turned against their cousins, leading to their long divisions. More reliable sources suggest that, since of course Monkey's can't talk the whole story is ridiculous. The Ape-Kings are certainly not about to tell, the only interactions between men and Ape-Kings anyone knows about all end in charred and ruined villages, and haunting choruses of ape-song.

Badgers - Luck
Badger Kings are admittedly, pretty big, and they have great ridges of bone all along their arms and backs and flanks, the better to scour out their tunnels. Supposedly custodians of that most precious and mysterious resource, Luck, they hoard it like gold in their lair. You can't quite see it, but still, if you were to delve deep into their lair, you would find it, shimmering and glinting. The Badger-Lord guards it jealously, and its blood-lust is surprising and deadly. And they are quiet.
So very, very quiet.
As long as you do not threaten them in their lairs, Badger-Lords are somewhat amenable, even friendly, and there is more than one story about a wanderer clutching a badger-given charm which grants extraordinary luck.
The stories almost always end with the Badger-King coming to claim back the luck, with interest, with particularly deadly consequences, one way or the other.

Bats - Curses
Bat Kings are lazy, lazy creatures, content to while away days and days at a time in quiet contemplation, wrong-side up to the world. Easily the size of a man, they choose great caves in cliffs and mountains to hold their courts, and even men are sometimes permitted to enter to ask their questions of the Lords of Night. They pronounce curses, upon you, upon others, upon whomsoever they please, though mostly it is on the deserving (from the Bat-King's point of view). They aren't above bribery; and if caught in a relatively congenial mood, they might be offered full-blooded and vital livestock to break curses you happen to bear, or perhaps as an 'incentive' to speak against your enemy. Rarely do they take to the wing, but when they do, it is best to stay inside and look not at the sky for a day or two. The Bat-King can only Curse you if it sees you, though sometimes it can be very forceful in the matter, and its screech can stun even the largest beast.

Basilisks - Stone
Basilisk Kings are great wurms, snaking along the earth on tree-thick legs, dragging their mighty bellies, scouring the earth clean beneath them. They are like immense fleshy centipedes, pulling their lizard-bodies along on many many legs; claws like boulders, scales like breast-plates, gaze like a hurricane.
For the most part, the eyes of a Basilisk Lord are closed beneath stone lids, or what appears to be eye-lids at least. Their powers of petrification are so strong that they petrify everything they see, the ground, the trees, mud, man, monster alike. Even the air is susceptible to the gaze of a Basilisk Lord, and when a Basilisk Lord does release its eyes from their lithic prisons, it is a like twin spiraling coils of rock erupt from their heads, smiting all it touches to rock and covering the area in rubble, petrified air flaking and filling the atmosphere with dust.
Thankfully they wake but rarely. Like the rock itself, they see in the tectonic inevitabilities of stone and awaken only for those things that they believe must happen.

Bears - Strength
They almost seem to be made from stone, so tough is their hide, their fur is like bark and twigs, knotted and cruel. Teeth long as swords, claws like spears, and their eyes are glossy and black.
Twice as tall as even the largest of their mundane cousins, their treads shake the ground as they casually tear trees out from the earth and toss them aside like garbage.
Their strength is, needless to say, ferocious. They shred plate armour-like tissue and batter stone to rubble under the immense pounding of their wrath. Despite their utter dominance, they are not wicked; they are mostly content to sit and chew up bushes in their great mouths and guzzle cows. People have even been known to approach them, and with proper gifts (very large gifts) and demonstrations of strength, they have been known to teach even humans the ways of the forest.
But that's also not to say that they never get angry.

Crabs - War
Great living fortresses with shells of coral-reefs and claws the size of people, though often much of their features are covered in the mighty swarms of mundane crabs that cover them thickly, and that swarm about their feet. In great sideways drifts they march along the sea-floor, conquering all in their way. Once a slaughter is completed, and the flesh of their foes eaten, great shrine-piles of bones are built and set to wander the sea, tumble-weeds of the dooms of hundreds.
The Crab Kings love war beyond all reason. Only twice, two Crab Kings were seen to be fighting each other, two-hundred years separating both sightings. It was the same pair of Crab Kings, fighting the same war.
They are not totally belligerent though. They have been known to enter into mercenary contracts with devastating efficiency.
The rate with which they turn against their old masters at the end of said contracts does not bear thinking about.

Goats - The Occult
Horns that spiral endlessly (literally), cloven hooves that spill smoke from their contact with the earth, eyes which branch in fractal patterns. Their fur ruffles forever in an endless ethereal wind, and comes in all manner of shades darker than black. They are not bigger than other goats, but you would not need that to recognise that they are something other. Proud they walk the depths of the woods, supremely confident in the power and worth of the dark secrets they know, written in the empty spaces behind their eyes.
Sometimes, they share their knowledge with the outcast and the vulnerable. Sometimes, they share their knowledge with the greedy who bring them many gifts for the knowledge the goat holds. Sometimes, they step into the darkened cells of the condemned, and off them them power and the means of revenge. Whenever they release their secrets, it is always in the name of chaos and tragedy.
Once in a hundred years, all 13 of the Goat Kings will commune together at the top of a hill crested and crowned with great stony spires.
No-one knows what they do. Perhaps we should never know.

Owlbears - OH GOD NO PLEASE
YOU THINK REGULAR OWLBEARS ARE BAD OH BOY HOWDY DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING COMING THINK HOW CRAZY A REGULAR OWLBEAR IS HOW THIRSTY FOR BLOOD IT IS HOW THE RAGE CLOUDS THEIR EYES IN A OWLBEAR KING THE RAGE SPILLS LIKE MIST FROM ITS SOCKETS BLOOD SPILLS ETERNALLY FROM THEIR CLAWS THEY WADE THROUGH MIST AND BLOOD TO SLAUGHTER AND KILL AND DEVOUR HOW DID THEY EVEN GET ANIMAL LORDS OF THEIR OWN THEY ARENT NATURAL THEYRE MAN MADE OH GODS SAVE US PLEASE

Rocs - Wait, hang on
Hey... these are just Bird-Kings. What are you doing putting this in the list? Surely there can't possibly be birds even greater than Rocs? Preposterous.

Scorpions - Fear
Look, Scorpions are terrifying as they are. Twinned claws, arcing sting, many many legs; it isn't hard to see why Spirits of Fear take this form. The first sign you will see of a King of Scorpions is a strange pillar of stone, curved in a quite improbably way jutting up out of the sand. Perhaps there will be other such stones just protruding from the dunes. They like to bury themselves in the sand whilst they are dormant, and burst forth to destroy trespassers and prey. Their legs are many more than other scorpions. Their sting strikes with such speed that it needs no venom, and turns the very desert itself to glass when it strikes. And their claws snip through stone as easily as flesh. Oh, and don't look at their mouths. Please. Luckily for us, they are few, and they are mostly loners, and rarely encourage great swarms of their lesser fellows. Rarely.

Sharks - Death
Normal sharks can taste death on the water, Shark Kings can taste the intent of death, even hours before it happens. Dread omens of slaughters yet to happen. Large even as Sharks are large, they lead great demon-packs of deadly predators in slaughters of blood and frenzy, even tearing out the bellies of ships in their blood-lust. At least, only some of the time. Long days will pass when the Shark King and its court are content merely to swim long, lazy circles. The Lairs of Shark-Kings are mighty coral reefs of sunken and ruined ships, spires of shattered masts and halls of splintered hulls. It doesn't bear thinking of what they used before ships were made...

Spirit-Guests of Master Katawa's Bath-House

This was a cute little project of mine once upon a time, a Ghibli-esque bath-house inhabited by many spirits of all shapes and sizes, consumed with either having a great time, or commiting acts of sabotage and intrigue against each other. It spiralled out of control somewhat, so here's the one part that is so-far complete; a guest list!

More to come, hopefully.

Guests of the Bath-House

At any given time there are 2d4 dozen general patrons of the Bath-House going around their much-less-important business. For each dozen general patrons, there is an exceptional Guest, who are found on the list below.

Why are they here?
If you feel it appropriate, you could also roll the Guest an Ulterior Motive as well. Probably at least 2 or 3 Guests should have Ulterior Motives at any given visit.
1 - Just passing through, thought they would grab a drink
2 - Having a meal in the Food-Court
3 - Come for a Bath and a Meal, a nice day out really
4 - A few days rest and relaxation
5 - Come to sort out a little business in a neutral area
6 -  A deep cleanse (and they mean deep)
7 - None of your business!
8 - "Business"

Where are they currently?
These are general guidelines for determining location without context, they need not be proscriptive.
General Patrons (i.e. non-specific Guests) roll d4.
Guests with INF 1 roll d6.
Guests with INF 2 or 3 roll d8.
Guests with INF 4+ roll d10.
1 - Enjoying a nice Sake
2 - Enjoying a relaxing Bath
3 - Wandering the Gardens
4 - Receiving a Deep Cleanse
5 - Sleeping the Sake off in a Pod
6 - Having a meal in the Food Court
7 - Speaking with the Complaints Statue
8 - Engaging in business in one of the Meeting Rooms
9 - Sorting out a discrepancy with Administrator Goro
10 - Talking with Katawa himself!

*Sidebar - Ulterior Motives*
Ulterior Motives
1 - To steal from another guest.
2 - To discover the truth of the Bath-House's heating.
3 - To break into Katawa's office and read a document.
4 - To rob Administrator Goro's safe.
5 - To learn another Guest's secret.
6 - To break up talks between two other Guests.
7 - To ruin another Guest's reputation.
8 - To hunt down a Guest who knows their secret.
9 - To hunt down Katawa and have a stern word with him.
10 - To find the Complaints Statue's records.
*Siderbar ends*

Guest Stats
There are 5 stats for guests.
Hit Die [HD] - A relative counter of how tough they are.
Number [No.] - A count of how many of them there are, in absolute number or dice.
Affiliated [Aff] - The chance in 6 of each guest knowing anything about another guest, the more it passes by, the more they know. Also the odds of knowing who you should talk to about a specific problem you might have.
Relation [Rel] - How friendly they might be with the party (to begin with at least).
Influence [Inf] - How much everyone else in the Bath-House will want to speak with them.

Guest List
1 - The Mantis Ambassadors
      Long, thin, elegant. Soft of speech, harsh of word. Straight to the point. Superior, but are too polite to admit it. They speak for the Insect Queendoms.
HD - 3 No. - 2d4 Aff - 4 Rel - 3 Inf - 4
Secret: Plotting a war to elevate Queen Chitin to Arch-Fae status.

2 - The Dark Apostles
      Soft and rounded in places, thin and curved in others, like they have been molded by great fingers. Large, haunted lantern-eyes. Dread adherents of the Void-God-Who-Is-Devoured
HD - 1 No. - 3d6 Aff - 2 Rel - 3 Inf - 1
Secret: If you propitiate them properly, they can eat someone totally and unacceptably. (No-one is truly safe from them, but by no means is the doom of particularly powerful beings guaranteed either.)

3 - The Flame-Bellied Djinn
      An agent of Mechanus, the city of law and Djinni. His belly is a great barred furnace, smoke constantly pools in his mouth and ears, curls from his nose. Boistrous, laughs from the belly.
HD - 6 No. - Unique Aff - 3 Rel - 3 Inf - 2
Secret: Spying on the other realms to assess if any are approaching Mechanus' technological level.

4 - Grande Toade
      A huge, boil-covered toad. Long fu-manchu style moustache, great bushy eye-brows like feathers. Apparently some sort of royalty, or perhaps semi-divinity. Uncertain. Never elaborates.
HD - 4 No. - Unique Aff - 2 Rel - 2 Inf - 3
Secret: Grande Toade is a manifestation of the True God of all Amphibians, who dwells partially beneath the lake the Bath-House sits upon.

5 - Reynardine, the Were-Fox
     Seducer of women, seducer of men, seducer of trees and water features, seducer of... well just about everything. A bit of a foppish rake, but looks just fabulous without fail.
HD - 3 No. - Unique Aff - 4 Rel - 3 (5 for characters with 15+ cha) Inf - 2
Secret: When a 1 is rolled on an Affiliation roll for another guest, Reynardine has had a secret dalliance with someone close to the guest.

6 - A Squadron of Locust Knights
      Members of the warrior caste of Sahandralar, the great democracy. On some sort of quest, but they've been on so many damn quests no one cares any more. Boistrous, but honourable.
HD - 3 (and 1 captain of 5) No. - 3d6 Aff - 2 Rel - 5 Inf - 2
Secret: They are exiles from Sahandralar, and cannot return until their great deeds outweight their hidden shame.

7 - Mogirus, the Bear
      He's a big bear. Smart enough to come in every so often for some fish and a wander, but otherwise, just a bear. Despite this, all the other guests are convinced there is something more to him.
HD - 3 No. - Unique Aff - 0 Rel - 3 Inf - 2
Secret: Is literally just a bear, there is nothing special about him.

8 - The Sturgeon Scholars
      The most pre-eminent scholars from the Benthic Colleges, with doctorates in all manner of subjects and passing interests in everything left over. As far as they know at least. Snooty. Intolerable.
HD - 1 No. - 2d4 Aff - 3 Rel - 2 Inf - 3
Secret: Stole much of their original research from a rival school, who they bully into silence.

9 - The Beetle Brethren
      Adherents of the Holy Order of Mistress Moth. Thick, hempen robes and swinging fire-fly censers. Speak only in chittering, though they can speak human perfectly well. Just want to be left alone.
HD - 1 No. - 3d4 Aff - 3 Rel - 1 Inf - 1
Secret: Mistress Moth is dead, and they have killed her; they feasted on her semi-divine flesh.

10 - The Many-Armed Scroll-Keeper
       How many arms does he have? Many. How many scrolls does he have? Many. How many long centuries has he kept to his sacred task? Many. How many more questions will he have to answer before you get he picture and bugger off? ... (sigh) Many.
HD - 2 No. - Unique Aff - 1 Rel - 2 Inf - 2
Secret: He keeps all the secret knowledge he collects, he does not burn it like he says he does.

11 - The Owl-Sages
       Bedecked in fine robes and adorned with fine jewelry. Know much of the secret things of the world. They have many books they read at night that keep their secrets safe.
HD - 1 No. - 2d8 Aff - 3 Rel - 3 Inf - 3
Secret: They bought their knowledge from a Demon of the Moon, at a terrible cost that they have yet to pay. 

12 - A Maniple of Centurion's Rose
       Boistrous and unruly, they speak through pheromones and generally get up to little more than fighting and brawling. Easily coaxed into drinking competitions.
HD - 2 No. - 5d6 Aff - 1 Rel - 2 (4 if drunk) Inf - 1
Secret: They bear a magic book which contains a number of rituals for opening Secret Roads of magic. They use it as a seat for the Rose-Captain.

13 - A Random Hag
       Even hateful demon-women of the woods need to pop in for a deep-cleanse and a few tots of sake every so often. Be reasonable please.
HD - 3+ No. - 1 Aff - d4 Rel - d4 Inf - d4
Secret: Depends on the Hag, usually is a magical power, with a terrible cost.

14 - The Prince of Bats
       Long eared, wet-nosed, sniveling, squeaky voice. Much maligned, but put up with due to his powerful connections. Exceedingly nocturnal, and very nosy.
HD - 6 No. - Unique + 2d4 Bat-folk attendants Aff - 4 Rel - 1 Inf - 4
Secret: Plots to kill his father and become The Dread King of Night.

15 - Long-Ears and Long-Whiskers
       Human in shape, yet animal in aspect, and a powerful spirit of the woodland in nature. They clad themselves in a human form to better facilitate negotiation about the well-being of the forest in which it lives.
HD - 4 No. - Unique Aff - 3 Rel - 1 (but pretends it 4) Inf - 3
Secret: Secretly despises "civilised" cultures, but will never let you know it. Dreams of putting them back in their place.

16 - A Dryad Bacchinalia
       The best party you've ever been to, the worst hangover you've ever had. Some of its tame, some of it is jaw-droppingly decadent and depraved. Not good at tidying up.
HD - Between 1 and 3 No. - 10d10 Aff - 1 (with a +1 for each party the Guest has attended with the Dryads, if in doubt, roll d4) Rel - 3 (6 when drunk) Inf - 2 (6 if they're out for a party)
Secret: They stole all their membership from village orphans and changed them into the psuedo-spirits they are now.

17 - The Rat-Nobles
       Refined, cultured, well-groomed. Always out on some kind of urgent (but never too urgent) business, always far too busy to talk to you (but never busy enough to rush).
HD - 2 No. - 3d4 Aff - 4 Rel - 1 Inf - 4
Secret: They pray that no one ever finds out that really, they aren't all that important, all that rich, all that cultured. They pour their hearts into the deceit.

18 - The Brewer Dogs
       Punks in leather jackets, festooned with silver spikes, make a killer pale ale. Out for a good time, and hoping to bump into a great business opportunity while they're at it.
HD - 1 No. - 3d4 Aff - 3 Rel - 4 Inf - 2
Secret: There is only a limited supply of their precious ale. They don't know how to make more. They dread the day it runs out.

19 - A Bone Scrivener
       Something like a cross between an owl and a centipede that wears heavy cloaks so that you are never quite sure what it really is. An oracle whose preferred medium should be obvious, the older the better.
HD - 3 No. - 1 Aff - 5 (but the costs are always high) Rel - 3 Inf - 3
Secret: The price it paid for its powers were its family's lives. The guilt wracks it terribly.

20 - Carved-From-Stone, the Giant
       Barely fits within then Bath-House, has to bathe in the hot springs beneath, makes the whole place smell slightly when he does, is not well liked for that reason.
HD - 8 No. - Unique Aff - 2 Rel - 2 Inf - 1
Secret: He is a cousin of the Spirits of the Hot-Springs, which is the only reason Katawa still allows him to come to the Bath-House.

21 - Big-Headed Carlos
       His head is far too big for his small, stupid body. He is not stupid, though everyone assumes he is. He knows far more than he lets on with his stupid, gormless face.
HD - 3 No. - Unique Aff - 4 Rel - 3 Inf - 1
Secret: None, but when he is affiliated with another Guest, he knows their secret too, and looks out for any chance to leverage it for his own gain whilst also maintaining his charade.

22 - Many-Legged Karthus
       He is a spider, who is also a man. Somehow, try not to think about it too much, dear morsal, you get all tough and stringy when you get stressed. Long thin grins, like, all the time.
HD - 4 No. - Unique Aff - 2 Rel - 3 (5 for delicious looking PCs) Inf - 2
Secret: He is terribly lonely, and wishes only to find a mate.

23 - Rot-Grub the Stinky
       Bloated body, buzzing wings, wrist-rubbing, wheezy voice. A consummate sycophant, and totally oblivious to the fact that everyone hates him. Never realises that some of the things he's heard are actually quite important...
HD - 2 No. - Unique Aff - 2 Rel - 4 Inf - 1
Secret: None, but when he is affiliated with another Guest, he knows their secret too, but doesn't know that its important.

24 - Stone-Antlers and his Family
       A great elk with flinty protrudences, he is haughty and proud. Disinclined to conversation, but can easily be coaxed into opportunities to show off his powerful physicality. Family are quiet and subservient to the overbearing father. They wish to be rid of him.
HD - 4 (1 for family members) No. - Unique +2d3 family members Aff - 4 Rel - 1 (3 for the family) Inf - 3
Secret: Stone-Antlers is quite unaware of all the enemies he has accumulated, and his family would eagerly sell him out to any one of them.

25 - A Gaggle of Goblins
       Immature, inept, inexplicable. They cause trouble wherever they go, and by their gobliney nature, they spontaneously generate more of them from the dark and damp corners.
HD - 0 No. - d6d6 (d6 more appear each day) Aff - 2 Rel - 2 Inf - 1
Secret: None as such, but if more than 100 goblins are ever present in the Bath-House at one time, the entire place will just become utterly infested, and it will resemble a battle-ground more than a recreational establishment.

26 - The Kindly Ferret Maidens
       Just absolute sweethearts is clean white dresses. Virtuous to a fault. Courteous to the extreme. Everyone loves them, no-one has any reason to dislike them at all. Often go around the Bath-House handing out small plates of cookies. Delicious cookies.
HD - 3 No. - 2d6 Aff - 4 Rel - 2 Inf - 4
Secret: Actually deadly assassins. Very rarely are they here on business.

27 - The White Bride and the Black Widow
       Two who seem similar in look, but are altogether opposites. One is delighted, one is devastated. Its not often that your expectations align with the reality. Perpetually awaiting their big days, supposedly related to some incredibly important people, but no-one can ever agree on who.
HD - 1 No. - 2, Unique Aff - 3 Rel - 4 for the Widow, 2 for the Bride Inf - 4
Secret: The Bride killed the Widow's husband, which put in her current predicament.

28 - Songbird the Beautiful
       Wears her wings like robes and her feathers like jewelry, her song is exquisite, he laughter like sunshine. Everyone knows she's a spy, but she's just so charismatic that they don't care. She's never here to spy on them after all, she told them herself!
HD - 6 No. - Unique Aff - 6 (though you'd never bother a lady about her work would you?) Rel - 4 Inf - 6
Secret: Its always a secret just who it is that she really is here to spy on.

29 - THE BULL
       THE BULL IS BIG. THE BULL IS MEAN. THE BULL WILL TOLERATE NO WEAKNESS. THE BULL WILL TOLERATE NO WEASEL WORDS. THE BULL IS TRUE! THE BULL DECLARES IT SO!
HD - 6 No. - Unique + d6 Minotaur attendants Aff - 3 Rel - 2 (5 for tough types) Inf - 2
Secret: THE BULL is slowly dying, his invincibility wears thin.

30 - A Visiting Fae Lord
       Roll on your favourite table for Fae Lords!
HD - Lots No. - Unique (usually) Aff - 6 Rel - d6 Inf - 6
Secret: Depends on the Fae Lord

[GLOG] Chronomancy

I feel like expanding on the Seclusium of Time the Wizard. Here is what you get for being a Chronomancer, and the spells they use.

You probably can't start as a Chronomancer, but you could perform a ritual to edit your time-line to make it so that you have always been a Chronomancer, and thus replace your Wizard School with Chronomancy.

Time magic is dangerous. Even apart from the normal repercussions abusing time. If you aren't careful, the time police will track you down and throw you in Infinite Jail, which is infinite in every dimension, including and especially, time.

Perk

You are always vaguely aware of the time of day and year it is, wherever you are, both locally and wherever you might call home if abroad.
Randomly determined spell durations always affect you for the maximum time.

Drawback


If you ever see a clock that tells the wrong time, you must fix it.
Randomly determined spell durations always affect you for the maximum time.

Cantrips

1 - You can retroactively consume things you own in the future to gain their benefits in the past. You can set up a time-debt by gaining the benefits of something you consume (such as food, a potion, a damn good book, etc.) whenever you like in the present, but you cannot use this again until you have resolved the time-debt in the future, when you can actually consume the stuff you've already benefited from. Needless to say, you don't get the benefit in the future.
2 - You can pause time for a split-second of real time. Perceptually for you, time continues for 6 seconds during that split second, during which you cannot act or move at all (not even your eyes) but you can still see, smell, touch and taste things (you can't hear because external sound can't move). 
3 - You can write your future self notes, which will appear to you, wherever you are, at a specified time. You can't have more messages waiting to be delivered than you have Wizard templates.

Regular Spells

1 - Haste
R: 50' - T: Object - D: [sum] Rounds
If the target is a creature, they get an extra action on their turns, if they pass a save. Either way, their movement is doubled. Objects move twice as fast.
2 - Slow
R: 50' - T: Object - D: [sum] Rounds
If the target is a creature, they must save each turn or lose their action. Either way, their movement is halved. Objects move half as fast.
3 - Helping Hand
R: 10' - T: Self - D: [sum] Minutes
Reaching into the time-stream, you pull a version of yourself from the future to help you now. Roll all their HD and MD to determine how many of each they have, otherwise for all intents and purposes, they are another you.
However, if the future version of yourself dies before the end of the spell, you have put a time-limit on your own life. Each time you level up, there is a cumulative 1 in 6 chance that you are pulled back in time, and die.
4 - Revert
R: Touch - T: Object - D: Instant
Reset an object to a point in its past, up to a certain amount of time ago based on the dice used:
1 die - 1 hour
2 dice - 1 day
3 dice - 1 year
4 dice -  100 years
The object touched reverts to the state its atoms were arranged in, but life is elusive, and hp (or indeed, life at all) cannot be regain from this spell; though things such as debilitating wounds and bleeding can be removed by this spell.
5 - Provert
R: Touch - T: Object - D: Instant
Proset an object to a point in its future, up to a certain amount of time ahead based on the dice used:
1 die - 1 hour
2 dice - 1 day
3 dice - 1 year
4 dice - 100 years
The object proverts to a state that it would naturally reach without outside interference. Natural processes do not take effect during this advancement, so you won't feel a year' worth of hunger if you are proverted.
6 - Bottled Time
R: Touch - T: A Bottle - D: [dice] Hours
You bottle up some time from your now, and can use it later.
7 - Foresight
R: 0' - T: Self - D: [sum] Minutes
For each die invested in the spell, roll a die of your choice and keep it in front of you. For the duration of the spell, whenever you are called on to a roll a die of the type you have in front of you, instead of rolling, you can use on of the dice generated by the spell.
8 - Hindsight
R: 0' - T: Self - D: [sum] Minutes
You make a closed time-loop that you can test a theory out in. When the time-loop ends, you and everything you interacted with reset back to how you were when you cast the spell. Time rewinds with you too, none of what you did had any lasting consequences. You remember all of the time-loop however, and MD that you spent on the spell are still gone.
If you die whilst in the time-loop, you suffer a Miscast when you reset.
9 - Contingency
R: 0' - T: Self - D: [sum] Minutes
Set a trigger, and a reaction. When the trigger is triggered, the reaction occurs.
10 - Pre-preparations
R: 0' - T: Self - D: [sum] [special]
You send resources of yours into the future, which you can call in later whenever you want, such as a Magic Dice, a number of hit points, or some knowledge. You do not get back resources that you don't call back before the spell ends. If sending dice or objects, you cannot send more than [dice] of those. If sending knowledge or points of a class feature, you cannot send more than [sum] words or points.
Other examples are up to DM interpretation.
The duration of the spell depends on the number of MD used to cast it;
1 die - Hours
2 dice - Days
3 dice - Weeks
4 dice - Years

SUPER SPELLS

11 - Permanency
R: 50' - T: A Spell Effect - D: Instant
You make a magical effect permanent, the exact effects of which are up to the DM; some guidance;
- If the spell has a duration, that duration merely becomes permanent.
- Objects and creatures summoned or created by a spell last permanently, though they could still be broken or killed.
- If an object's state is changed (such as being unlocked by a Knock spell) then they can never be changed back to how they were.
- Instantaneous spells (such as fireball) will require a bit more adjudication (e.g. fireball might cause an endless splurge of flame at the point it was cast).
You must use at least the same number of dice to cast this spell, as were used to cast the spell you wish to make permanent. Dice used to cast this spell cannot be retained, and must be regained at dawn, as if they had all rolled a 4 or more.
In addition, roll on the following table to determine the additional costs of the spell:
1 - You lose d6 hp as long as the spell effect lasts.
2 - You lose 1 MD as long as the spell effect lasts.
3 - You can memorise 1 less spell while the spell effect lasts.
4 - You must roll an additional miscast when you do, and suffer all results, as long as the spell effect lasts.
5 - No one in the whole world can cast the spell you made permanent as long as the spell effect lasts.
6 - You cannot postpone or dismiss your Dooms.
12 -  Time Walk
R: 0' - T: Self and up to [dice] other creatures - D: Instant
You fuckin' time travel. Look, it does what you think. If you've let your players become a Chronomancer, and they get their hands on time-walk, let them.

Miscasts

1. Magic Die only return to your pool on a roll of 1 or 2 for 24 hours
2. Take 1d6 damage
3. Random mutation for 1d6 rounds, then make a save. It is permanent if you fail.
4. You cannot cast spells for d6 rounds as they freeze in time.
5. You become unstuck in time; for 1 minute each turn you must a dice of your choice. If it rolls even, you act twice. If it rolls odd, you skip your turn.
6. You freeze in time for d6 turns, in which you cannot do anything, nor can anyone do anything to you or anything you are wearing/carrying.

Dooms

Chronomancer Dooms are funny, they may not happen in order. When you suffer a Doom, use the first doom if the triple was a 1 or a 2, use the second Doom if the triple was a 3 or a 4, and use the third doom if the triple was a 5 or a 6. If you encounter a Doom earlier than you should, or one you have already encountered, it is possible to convince it to piss off and come back later. It will come back the next time you suffer a Doom along with whatever Doom you roll for that one; duplicating results this way is absolutely a thing. You can still tell them to come back if they are still early, but eventually you must deal with the consequences of all Dooms you have accumulated.

1 - A Causality Angel arrives and demands that you cease your meddling with the time-stream. They slap you with Chrono-Shackles that cannot be removed by anything short of a 5 dice magic spell, and while you wear them, you cannot cast any Chronomancy Spells (though they don't hinder you at all in any other way, and you can still use your cantrips). The Causality Angel will take them off when you have "learned your lesson" and burned a spellbook with a Chronomancy Spell in it.
2 - A future version of you arrive to warn you of the results of meddling with the time stream and drag you out of yours to see the results of it. Whatever strange sights you have to see, you are out of action for d6 days, and will re-appear where you were in the exact same state as you were, despite the apparent passage of time.
3 - The Universe finally gets sick of all your meddling and sends an Inevitable to hunt you down, forever, through time and space, until you are dead. It will not stop and indeed, cannot be stopped.
Unless it has arrived early, in which case it is very gracious and apologetic.

To avoid the Dooms of the Chronomancer, you must either turn over your personal hourglass in the halls of time, where the lifetimes of all mortal things are counted down, or you can eat the heart of a truly immortal being, which is tough given that immortal things cannot be mortally wounded, even by having their hearts hacked out. Especially after you've eaten it.

[GLOG] Knight of Cydonia

Is this a class based on the music video of one of Muse's all-time best songs?

No.

You gain one random Martial Cowboy Hero Technique per Knight of Cydonia Template you have.
Starting Equipment: A Damn Fine Hat, A Whip, Leather Armour, A Sword, A Bottle of Questionable Liquor, A Sense of Deep Ennui.
Background(d3): 1 - Outlaw, 2 - Vigilante, 3 - Ex-Sheriff

A - Early Riser, Piercing Gaze of the Cosmic Meta-Hawk
B - A Righteous Cause, Secrets of the Immortal Emperor of the Desert
C - Mysteries of the Mystic Mariachi Man,
D - Hour of the White Rider

Martial Cowboy Hero Technique (d8)

1 - Snake Style
You have +2 to hit enemies with a lower speed than you.
2 - Tiger Style
You deal +d6 damage when you attack someone while leaping off elevated terrain as part of your attack.
3 - Flying Eagle Style
You have +2 to hit flying enemies.
4 - Flaming Energy Ball
By doing nothing on your turn, you can launch a ball of flaming energy as your action next turn, which deals 2d6 damage.
5 - Twin Headed Snake
You can attack two creatures who are adjacent to each other with one attack roll, but rolling damage separately. You step each damage die down one step when doing this.
6 - Circle of Death
Creatures you grapple take d4 damage at the start of each of their turns.
7 - Shaolin Bear Strike
Your unarmed attacks deal d4+STR damage.
8- Choose One Style of your choice.

Early Riser

You have a chance in 6 of ignoring any effects of surprise equal to the number of Knight of Cydonia templates you have.

Piercing Glare of the Cosmic Meta-Hawk

While you hold someone's gaze, you always know if they are being untruthful, though you do not know anything about the nature of the deception, only its presence.

A Righteous Cause

When you come across a Villain that opposes one of your convictions, you can declare a Righteous Cause against them. Each time you confront them, you automatically charge your conviction at the beginning and the end of the confrontation. You can only have one Righteous Cause for each conviction, which ends when the Villain is defeated.

Secrets of the Immortal Emperor of the Desert

You get +2 to (both) Combat Maneuver rolls. Additionally, whenever you attack and get exactly the number you needed, you may make a Dex check opposed by the target's Str or Dex (whichever is higher). If you win, you successfully execute a free Combat Maneuver.

Mysteries of the Mystic Mariachi Man

Your sense of timing is impeccable. If you are ever "off-screen" and someone you know is put in a dangerous situation, you can burst back "into scene" in a dramatic fashion, along with one new piece of equipment that you have used to enter the scene, such as a horse, a rope, or a motorcycle (whatever one of those is). This ability is limited by plausibility.

Hour of the White Rider

You gain a bonus on to hit and damage rolls against the Villain of your Righteous Cause and their lackeys equal to the number of times they have escaped your justice!

Poisons, minus obsequious naming requirements

What is this?

Hopefully, a nice easy way to deal with, create, and resolve poisons.
Also, as much as I love coming up with cool names for all manners of things like herbs, metals, poisons, whatever, I never know whether the inclusion of names in the system itself is good or not. It feels quite proscribed, and I feel bad not using them, and its extra cognitive load for me to remember all the new names, and the old names they secretly referred to.
So, this is an attempt to keep it all nice and simple, and no-prescriptive; just a list of effects and a way to adjudicate how effective they are.
[Inspired very muchly be Wyrdspeak's post on the same. Its much better than this, and I really only did this because I don't like my poisons pre-named! Sorry Meridian, I hope I have expanded on this enough to merit this blantant thievery.}

How does this work?

Each poison has one of the following effects, a delivery method, and a strength, expressed as a number; the higher the number, the more devastating the poison. There is no nice and easy scaling for how much you should set the [x] as due to the various types of effects the poisons can have. I suspect that making X about the same as level would be fair, but like I say, some scale far more aggressively than others.

Delivery Methods

There are generally 3 types of way to inflict these poisons:
Injury: Whether they are slathered on a weapon, or injected through fangs, these go straight to the bloodstream, and inflict their effects at the start of the target's turn. If the wounded part can be cut off before then, the effect is avoided (which of course, may not be possible).
Ingestion: When swallowed, possibly with something else, they have their effects manifest after a small delay, anywhere from 1 minute to 1 hour later. If vomited back up before the effects manifest, it is avoided.
Inhalation: These poisons are breathed in, and once breathed in, the effect manifests at the start of the target's next turn. The poison can be avoided entirely simply by not breathing it in.

Types of Poison Effect

For mundane poisons, roll d8.
For supernatural poisons, roll d12.
For potentially truly strange poisons, roll d20.

1 - Ability Damage: Damage caused by the poison [x] is applied directly to an ability score.
2 - Paralysis: The poison paralyses the target for [x] turns.
3 - Sickness: The poison sickens the target for [x] turns.
4 - Blindness: The poison blinds the target for [x] turns.
5 - Nerve Damage: The target takes damage equal to [x].
6 - Heart Attack: The target must save or die, with a penalty to the save equal to [x].
7 - Hypersensitivity: Increase damage the target takes by [x] each time for 1 minute.
8 - Berserk: The target enters a Barbarian's rage for [x] turns.
9 - Hallucination: The target has an [x] in 6 chance to lose their turn to visions for 1 minute.
10 - Mutating: The target must save or mutate, with a penalty to the save equal to [x].
11 - Nightmare: The target fears the source of the poison for [x] turns.
12 - Arcano-suppression: The target may not cast spells for [x] turns.

These are the whacko ones.
13 - Miniturisation: The target is shrunk to 1/100th of their normal size for [x] turns.
14 - Gravitonic-suppression: The target is unaffected by gravity for [x] turns.
15 - Nega-poison: The target's ability scores are inverted (as in, 20 - score) for [x] rounds.
16 - Doppel-poison: The target spawns a evil-twin with the exact same statistics and abilities. Must make a save or die in [x] turns.
17 - Necronaturalisation: The character is treated as an undead for [x] days.
18 - Disorientation: The player must turn around/turn their screen off for [x] turns.
19 - Ambiguiety: The player may not look at their character sheet for [x] turns. If they try to do anything their character can't do, they miss their turn.
20 -  Numbing: Neither the character nor the player may speak for [x] turns.

6 themes of the Old Frontier

Bogeyman's Cave and Throne of Salt (among others) did this thing already, so go read those ones. Once you're done with those, with no further ado, here's my setting flavour waffle!

Brief Introduction: The Old Frontier

The Dread Emperor rules, has ruled, will always rule from the Mightiest of Cities, Babylon, seat of the Throne, and from his Basalt Throne he stretched his hand across all the Empire and beneath his benevolent gaze, mankind flourishes.
In theory at least.
In reality, the Duchy of Brockenwold is far, far from the vital beating heart of civilisation. The frontier has stood here for centuries, ebbing and surging back and forth, cities and towns blooming and wilting in turn, no-one even knows anymore if the ruined cities in the mountains are the corpses of Imperial cities or the ailing remnants of even older ages. This is just as far as humanity can go, there is nothing worth having beyond the Brockenmoors or the Saurmachts. Some things are certain though.
Something isn't right about the Duchy.
There are (utterly spurious of course) claims that monsters roam the moors, and beasts and creatures of legend, things that cannot and should not be, roam the Eldenwode, and there are even whispers of Gods.
Someone needs to sort these out, and put the old tales to rest.

1 - Mankind is Old, we have left many ruins

Many are the ruins of ancient times.
The empire of all humanity is ancient beyond reckoning, and its borders have shifted and ebbed like tides over the many millennia. In the quiet and forgotten corners are the dead remnants of old cities and castles and towns, obviously ancient, but only the most learned will be able to discern if they were the homes of civilisations of previous ages, or merely imperial cities that were lost in the latest spate of disasters.

2 - The Gods are Dead, but we are not alone

All man has left are Saints and Angels.
It is well known that the Gods are Dead; none dispute this. Without them, demons and devils and monsters and wicked men prey on the souls of man with ever growing audacity, but there is hope. Some few of the peoples of man are worthy to walk the Path of Saints and inherit the leftover scraps of their Divinity and ascend with power to the heavenly battlefields. So to do the God's attendant angels, now masterless, mass in heavenly hosts to battle against the dying of the light. These are the beings that men worship, to defend their living souls from being stolen in the night.

3 - The World is Alive, and yet Dying

The spirits of the world take many shapes and forms.
All things have their spirits, they are all alive; not quite in the manner that you or I are, but alive they are, and they all have their own minds and goals and agency. The druids and shamans and rangers of the world know the old ways of man, and can yet speak to them, and interact with the souls of mountains, and preposition the hive-mind of the forest.
And yet, the Sun wanes in the centre of the universe; the earth will not survive its death, and so it plans, and hopes.

4 - The System is Broken, and The Man is not your friend


Well, maybe not exactly like this, but maybe more of your nobles should be Skellingtons?
His Dread Majesty dwells far, far away in Holy Babylon, and his agents are scattered and few.
The Duke of the Frontier is corrupt and fat on the harsh, harsh taxes he extracts from the people.
The Baron of Brygge is a heretic, a demon-worshiper, and dreams of rebellion.
People in power are very rarely on your side, and will usually at best be out to use you for your abilities if they do seem to be aligned with you. There may well be a few that genuinely are good, but they are few and far between. Hold them close.

5 - Magic is Everywhere you can't see it

The Cunning Folk know all kinds of secret, simple magics.
Magic isn't common, but there are always wizards who dwell in high towers just over the next hill, shrines to ancient spirits with pools of healing water, and you can never tell when your neighbour might be one of the Cunning Folk, and have a talisman to heal the sickness that has settled in your gut.
Most people will never see magic, but then again most people will never visit more places than they have fingers, and few will go to the lost and wild places where magic still waxes strongly. Most people don't even believe in monsters for heaven's sake.

6 - In the end, there is still hope for the future

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
The world is bleak, but there is still hope.
The sun is not yet dead, there are still Saints to defend the souls of man, there are still heroes.
Perhaps you'll even be remembered as one.

[GLOG] Numismancers

Numismancers: the wizards of worth

As everyone knows; magic can, will, and inevitably must be taken to every possible application. Money was one of the first, humans being humans.
Numismancers however, are not just money-wizards, though due to the nature of their magic, it is a big part of their domain, humans being humans. Numismancers are the wizards of a thing's worth; they can tell you your heart's desire, alter the odds in their favour, and enforce good-will in negotiation. 
The life-cycle of a Numismancer's stay in any given town is roughly the same;
First, they are greeted with joy at the prosperity they can bring.
Then, the suspicion sets in as people begin to wonder, just how much this wizard is doing that they don't now about.
Finally, they are run out of town when the townsfolk discover what it is that they didn't know. 

Exactly like this?

Cantrips:

- You instinctively know if you are being mislead about the worth of an item you are attempting to buy, but you are not aware of the magnitude, or even the nature, of the deception.
- You can pull out a small handful of loose change from a pocket if you give it to someone. The coins are genuine, and they never quite equal one of the standard currency (e.g. a few copper pieces usually). You can do this once for any given person.
- You can instantly assess the value of a pile of coins.

Perk:

Creatures perceive your coins as being worth just that little bit more than others. They will almost always stop to pick up coins you drop.

Drawback:

Anyone who discovers you have lied or deceived them, has a -1 modifier to all reaction rolls when dealing with a group with you in it, or a -2 when dealing with you alone.

Spells:

1 - Asking Coins
R: Touch - T: Coins - D: [sum] Days
You weave a secret blessing over [dice] coins. Anyone you give one of these coins too is impelled to answer one question of yours truthfully, though they do get a save. Creatures who pass the save, and have HD equal to or less than [dice] are aware you magically compelled them; creatures who pass the save and have HD greater than [dice] need not answer at all, and are aware you compelled them too.
2 - Arcane Appraisal
R: 50' - T: Any object - D: [sum] Minutes
You create a glamour over an object such that any who behold it deem its value to be up 2[dice] its worth, either multiplied, or divided, which you decide when you cast the spell.
3 - Assess Desire
R: 6' - T: Person - D: Instantaneous
You read the thoughts of a person whose eyes you can meet, for at least an instant. You learn the most pressing thing that person wants. For each die you invest beyond the first, you can either learn a further desire, or discover a piece of information about a desire you are already aware of.
4 - Bend Luck
R: 0' - T: Self - D: [sum] Minutes
For each die invested in the spell, roll a die of your choice and keep it in front of you. For the duration of the spell, whenever you are called on to a roll a die of the type you have in front of you, instead of rolling, you can use on of the dice generated by the spell.
5 - Sacred Negotiations
R: 50' - T: Contract - D: [sum] Minutes
The spell is cast upon a contract of one kind or another, as long as it has not been signed by anyone. The contract can be in the process of being written. For the duration of the spell, no violence of any kind, lies, or deceptions can be perpetrated by any party who will potentially sign the contract, until it has been signed by all parties; or until the contract is torn apart.
6 - Animate Coins
R: Touch - T: A pile of coins - D: 1 minute per caster level
You animate a pile of coins into an ooze or swarm like creature.It can perform any actions an animate pile of coins could feasibly perform, and its statistics are dependent on its size.
It attacks as a monster with HD equal to the Dice invested in the spell.
It has 1 dice of damage for each place value in the number of coins that make up the pile.
It has Hit Points equal to [sum].
Its physical attributes are equal to [dice] + the number of place value positions in the number of coins that make up the pile.
7 - Speak With Coins
R: 50'  - T: A pile of Coins - D: [sum] Minutes
You enchant the targeted coins such that their coin-conscience can communicate with yours. The more coins there are, the more information they can coherently articulate, and the "memory" of the coins for the purposes of this spell is; 1 week [1 die], 1 month [2 dice], 1 year [3 dice], as long as the coins have existed as coins [4 dice].
The coins can usually answer questions about "coininess", such as how many other coins have been with them or taken from them, what environment they have been stored in, where were they minted, etc.
Taxing questions (i.e. anything not to do with being a coin) can only be asked once per minute; such as what they have been spent on, who has kept them, where they have been stored, etc.
8 - Compulsion
R: 50' - T: [dice] creatures - D: [sum] rounds/no. of targets
The enchanted creature is filled with a compulsion to sort a series of objects for the duration of the spell, which they will immediately move to. Non-alert, unaware creatures are not allowed a save. While sorting the objects, they pay no attention to any of their surroundings, unless it interferes with them, or the objects they are sorting.
If there are no objects to sort in the creature's sight, the spell has no effect.
Targeting particularly intelligent creatures, or having especially easy or few objects to sort, can affect the duration of the spell, down to half its normal duration. 
9 - Vault
R: 50' - T: A "room" you can see - D: concentration
As long as you maintain concentration on this spell, all entrances to the targeted room slam shut and lock, and cannot be physically opened, unless they are destroyed. The definition of "door" and "room" are somewhat loose, but any space that is open to the sky such that objects cannot plug the gap, cannot be targeted.
This spell can be used to create shelters, such as by affecting tables to close over a space completely.
If you maintain concentration on this spell for a whole day, the spell becomes permanent.
10 - Obssession
R: 50' - T: 1 creature - D: permanent
The enchanted creature develops an obsession that you specify, and will turn their greatest (feasible) efforts to the achievement of it. The target will never perform anything life-threatening to achieve their obsession (unless they are certain in their mind that they won't die), and each time they must perform a life-altering action (such as going on a long journey) or large expense, they get to make a new save against the spell.
The aim of the obsession must be known to exist by the target (though they do not need to be overly familiar with it), and can be of the following types depending on the number of dice used to cast the spell;
1 die or more - object or location
2 dice or more - person or occupation
3 dice or more - abstract (happiness, love, mastery, etc.)
4 dice - something that only might exist

Signature Spells:

11 - Midas Touch
R: 0 - T: self - D: [sum] rounds
For the duration of the spell, you enchant your hand such that anything you touch, turns to pure gold. Each round your touch can convert the following volume of stuff into gold;
1 die - 3" diameter
2 dice -  1' diameter
3 dice - 6' diameter
4 dice - 60' diameter
Unwilling creatures can save to resist the effects of the spell, and on a success the transformation only lasts for 1 round. Partially transformed creatures suffer a penalty of either -2 to die rolls from the shock and pain, or are incapacitated, according to GM interpretation. Any other penalties also depend on interpretation (you cannot see through gold eyes, as an example).

12 - Distill Worth
R: Touch - T: An object - D: 1 round
Upon casting this spell, you draw out a properties of the target, and render it through mighty magics into a single coin. You can take whatever proportion of the object's property you wish. Once this is done, the target loses whatever you took from it permanently, unless they eat the coin created.
The created coin is recognised by all who see it as carrying the worth of the instilled property instinctively, and any who eat it, or have it ground into them, take on the property.
Alternatively, the coin can be snapped, and rendered worthless.
Unwilling targets can save against the effect, creating a worthless coin on a success and not losing the affected property.
Distilled Properties
1 die - Superficial Physical
2 dice - Superficial Abstract
3 dice - Existential Physical
4 dice - Existential Abstract
Examples:
Superficial Physical; Colour, Reflectiveness, Tattoos, Shadow
Superficial Abstract; Reputation, Happiness, Dreams, Knowledge
Existential Physical; Weight, Body Parts, Physicality, Bones
Existential Abstract; Time left to live, Titles, Family Ties, Souls

Miscasts:

1 - Magic Die only return to your pool on a roll of 1 or 2 for 24 hours
2. Take 1d6 damage
3. Random mutation for 1d6 rounds, then make a save. It is permanent if you fail.
4 - You are compelled to donate 1d100sp to the next person-in-need you meet.
5 - d100 of your coins animate and attempt to escape you for 1 minute.
6 - You hands turn to solid gold for 1 minute. It is painful, but otherwise harmless.

Dooms:

1 - People begin to instinctively distrust you; and most NPCs will have at least a 1 in 6 chance to outright disbelieve anything important you say. All NPCs will double their prices when dealing with you.
2 - The Gods and Spirits of the World begin to instinctively distrust you. Most will simply refuse to deal with you at all, and the ones that will won't do it publicly.
3 - Finally, the Universe itself starts to think you're pulling a fast one on it. A Transcendental Arbiter descends from on high and demands you make an accounting of yourself, and to provide irrefutable proof that everything you have ever done, has been honest; existentially speaking. This is of course, almost impossible to prove.
The price of failure, is transmutation into a coin with your likeness, that you will forever inhabit.

The Numismancer can avoid their doom by betting their life in the game of the Marvellous; a card game played by angels, demons, and all comers for any and every kind of wager. Alternatively the Numismancer could infiltrate the archives of the Divine Bureaucracy and destroy their records, which would have absolutely no adverse side-effects I'm sure.

The Major Locales of the Crimson Sea

Holy Vesturia - Seat of the Holy Covenant

Of all places sacred to men, none shall be held as high as Grand Vesturia, the Birth-Place of the Great Blood-Covenant forged between men and the Gods-to-Be. Its tall spires scrape the very skies, its statuary raise profligate hands to receive blessings from above, its people offer their all to the Grand Church of Blood-Communion.

And all are lead in Worship by his Most Holiness, Pontif Sanguinius the First and Only, forever and ever, Amen; who forged the Promise on which all who live on the Shores of the Crimson Sea do dwell. And blessed too be his Crimson Ministers who tend to the herds of the High Shepard of men.

During the day, Vesturia is a quiet bustle as humans tend to themselves and their daily tasks, underneath the watchful eyes of the Crimson ministers, who are jealous of their flock as a husband is jealous of his wife. In the darkened manors and homes of the Gods-to-Be, the Crusaders of the Covenant play at high society in grand symposiums and soirees. At night, men huddle in their homes, and try to shut out the sounds of the bloody violence, the screams of demons, and the Victory Hymns and exultations of the Crusaders. 

The Church of the Holy Covenant rules all in Holy Vesturia, as it should be, for only through his Most Holiness can men ever hope to escape the horrors of the Night.

Sight-Seeing in the Red-Walled City of the Holy Covenant:
- The Mighty Cathedral of the Glories of the Blood-Pact - Where his Most Holiness, the First and Only (forever and ever, Amen) Pontif forged the Covenant with men, and the First of the Red Ministers joined him in holy brotherhood. Its tall, white-stone walls stand out against the dull greys and blacks of the Cities, an endless reminder of the Dominion of the Church.
- The Conflagration of the Apostate - Once a glorious estate of much wealth and the home of a noble lineage, the current occupant (who has lived there for over two centuries now) performed an unforgivable sin in the eyes of the Church: he poisoned himself. It was such a sin, Pontif Sanguinius himself came down from the Cathedral of Glories wreathed in wrath and power, and laid down upon the Noble and his house a terrible curse. Now it stands forever, as does its owner, only they are wreathed in an eternal flame, ever burning in parts, ever smouldering in places, always blossoming with smoke, forever and ever, until such a time as his sins have been scoured away in cleansing fire.
- Wolf-Pyre Plaza - A great square at the bottom of the steps leading up to the Cathedral of Glories, its centre is blackened and charred, for it is where the Beasts and Demons of the Night are burned as the morning sun is only just daring to rise, to the furious jeers and cheers of the Crusaders still high on the Night's Hunt-Lust.

The Bone-Metropolis of Demise

Built by those who would escape the Tyranny of the Church, Demise was constructed in the one place the Church would never find them, in the titanic, skeletal remains of the so-called "arch-demon". Though now the Covenant are well aware of the dissidents, they can no longer easily crush them, thus they bide their time and plot the downfall of the Corpse-City.

The skull of the Demon has been fashioned into a kind of Anti-Cathedral, the eyes and nostrils filled in with stained-glass, and the teeth hollowed out into the pipes of a Great Organ, played only when the Red Ministers of the Communion that are captured face their now traditional execution; a stake through the heart and decapitation. 

The City proper is built in the hollow of the Rib-Cage, the tall off-white towers rising in their arcs above the homes and buildings, fashioned into Watch-Towers. The Left Leg and the Right Arm have been fashioned into the Western and Eastern Wharfs respectively, as the Right Leg has long been lost to the Waves of the Living Sea. The Shoulder Blades, flanking the Anti-Cathedral, now form the home of the Ivory School, and the Noble Houses of the City Founders. The Pelvis is the foundation of the grand Fortress of the City, and stands as their great Fastness against the Churches Crusaders. The City has now spread beyond the confines of the almighty bones now, and only continues to grow from those that escape Vesturia, and the growth of hope and rebellion against Pontif Sangunius.

Their true strength, though they do not know it, lies in the Ivory School, who practice the lost and ancient art of Bone-Carving. They have created and discovered many tools that are particularly effective against the Gods-to-Be, and when the Church finally makes their move against Demise, they will find it a much more stalwart foe that any guessed it to be.

The Leviathan Yards

Huge, Pallid, and Ever-Squirming and Writhing, beasts like beached whales mount the shore leaking foul fluids into the furious sea, and birth the Flesh-Hulks that can sail the Living Sea.

The Harbour-Masters of the Leviathan Yards are some of the most feared (and rich) individuals of the Crimson Sea, second perhaps even to The First and Only (forever and ever Amen) Pontif of the Church of the Communion. Certainly they are second in influence, as they sell the Living Ships that alone are capable of surviving the Attentions of the Crimson Sea for any length of time without cracking open like a nut. They charge exorbitant prices, which are duly paid for now.

They are something like a cross between Spiders and Lobsters, standing up like a crooked old man, most of their limbs tucked away like a mental-patient while the main arms constantly scribble in their record books, their multi-facet eyes dancing this way and that and their mouths full of articulated teeth chitter quietly even as they speak to you. They are thin and long, unlike their worker-soldier brethren, who are much like them, only shorter and fatter, like crabs in the way the Harbour Masters are like Lobsters. Their thick, almost lacquered armour plates have been know to turn aside even the heaviest sword blows, though their underbellies have proven to be relatively soft.

This isn't to say that they aren't also feared in battle. Most every power on the Crimson Sea has tried once or more to take the Leviathan Yards for themselves. All have failed, the Nerve-Arresters and Claws of the Worker-Soldiers proving devastatingly effective even against the terrible power of the Crimson Crusaders. Mercifully, they have neither the numbers nor the inclination for conquest, as far as is known and hoped.

The Supra-Human Republics

The last (and most recently founded) of the Mighty Powers of the Crimson Sea, the Supra-Human Republics are feared by just about everyone. Of course, the Red Church of Vesturia is the most powerful and feared of the cities of the Living Sea, but the Supra-Human republics have proven themselves their equal in terms of the fear they spread, in the way they deal with prisoners, in their ever-changing and unpredictable power struggles, and in the doom they represent for Man-Kind.

They are the pinnacle of Human Evolution, as they tell everyone, beyond the Gods-to-Be of the traitor-state, beyond the Homunculi of the Alchemists, beyond the Star-Priests, beyond the Elves, beyond all and any! Their biology is as perfect as can ever be attained, neither age nor sickness nor exposure will ever slay one of their number, and their unimpeachable flesh is left behind by the Crusaders of the Church, evidence of their superiority!

In one aspect they still seem human though, they squabble endlessly and constantly. The Republics are fractitious in the extreme, and new havens are constantly being born left and right, and coups are levied against the new most treacherous and decadent of the Doges, only to be replaced by a Doge twice as corrupt and reprobate again. Trade continues to thrive in the turmoil though, and thus the Apex of Men supports many of their lesser kind in orbiting towns.

Of course, there is much war made between the Republics and Vesturia, the one enemy the Doges can actually ally as a group against for any amount of time. Such wars are often short-lived, as the Crimson Crusaders must always return to The City of Red Walls before the fall of night, and the Doges can never actually organise any kind of co-ordinated assault against the Holy City, their fragile alliances born of mutual hatred of the Red Ministers finally being overtaken by the storm of their petty squabbles. It is doubtful the Republics could ever actually overcome Vesturia; their numbers are too few, but the Church is determined to exterminate them, which betrays more than the ever-teethy smiles of the Ministers could.

Within the Republics themselves, the Supra-Humans dwell in endless luxury and fathomless melodrama, constantly seeking deeper and deeper depravities to explore and thrills to chase. Around them, "lesser-men" toil to sustain them, even as the Supra-Humans bully them to work harder and harder.

Of the origins of the Supra-Humans, they will not speak. Many rumours have been circulated (many certainly started by the Supra-Humans themselves), perhaps they are the final result of an Alchemist's life-time research into the creation of perfect Homunculi, or maybe they are renegade Ministers of the Church who have overcome their needs and vulnerabilities. It is even possible that they are lying, and sustain themselves purely on magic. No-one can tell for now, and if the secret is anywhere, it is in the dread-hearts of the Palaces of the Doges of the Supra-Human Republics.

Tazima and the Thin Forest

South across the Middle Sea is the great city of Tazima, land of the the Long River, guarded by the Thin Forest.

Approaching from the sea, with the south-westerly wind in your sails, from far off you will first see the great Lamp-Fires atop their tall monoliths, and as you approach, the many faces of their many gods will watch over your ship as it comes in to port. Here, the river is a great delta, and many farms grow rice and crops of all kinds in the shallow mud. You sail up the deepest channels at the certain times of day to stop yourself from being grounded. Not far ahead are the 7 great pyramids that make up the city of Tazima.

They are arranged in a ring formation, six ziggurats surrounding a central seventh. The outer ziggurats have four steps, but the centre one has five, and they are all always topped with pillars of smoke, visible even from far off.

They sacrifice men to give the Dying God of the River more time.

The city of Tazima recognises many gods, but they revere (and equally fear) three in particular.

- The Dying God, whose blood is the river (which is named for them). They dwell far off to the south in a prison of mountains.
- Jaguar, who governs the jungle while the sun shines, and is noble, proud, and fierce.
- Panther, who rules the jungle while the sun is gone, and is secretive, cunning, and really quite personable.

Much of life in Tazima is focused on placating the three gods of their microcosm.
The hearts and bloods of their honoured warriors are cut out and drained and stored. Each year, when the river is at its weakest, the boats are set up-river to deliver a cargo of blood to the mountains. They never return, but the river floods again next year, so the cycle continues.
The bodies are left to the jungle to be eaten by Jaguar, Panther, and their courts. It is assumed that they do not mind that the hearts and bloods are missing, since their forest relies on the river just as much as Tazima does.

Almost all the other bodies are given to the river.

A tiny few are given to the desert beyond the far edge of the jungle.
Everyone in Tazima dreads the desert. Hungry spirits who wear the skins of jackals and the wings of vultures dwell in those spectre-haunted dunes.
But beyond that, the Desert represents a more existential terror. The Dry Wastes are eternal stasis; death in the jungle or the sea is rebirth, a return to the eco-system; death in the Desert is an endless non-life, relegated to a swirl of dust on the wind.

The Jungle is another world altogether.
A mad riot of life and vibrancy, continual death and renewal, ruled by twin-kings, haunted by mysterious spirits. All kinds of tales are told by the hunters who salvage meat from the fringes; howling spirits who dangle from the trees, snakes who can grow big enough to swallow trees (though they die and leave behind a great skeleton in the process) and insects who speak with the voices of dead-men.
The strangest sights are seen most commonly not deeper into the jungle, for it is a thin place, but further up-river, where even the men are strange, and the earth itself rebels beneath your feet.
In general, as long as one is courteous, and brings the proper gifts, your safety is usually assured. It takes a bold beast indeed to go against the guest-rites of the jungle, but it has been known to happen.

Within the city itself however, life is a competition, in almost every aspect.
Each of the seven Ziggurats is something of a mini-city within the greater whole; each is governed by a Great Family whose primary concerns are spiritual, followed by political.
Each tries to out do the others to raise the most sacrifices each year for the annual offerings; leading to inter-city raids, war-parties sailing out into the Middle Sea to raid nearby cities, and even up-river slaver-bands to steal people from the yet-more mysterious cities close to the Dying god.

Of course, only the most honoured warriors and leaders are worthy sacrifices for the offerings, luckily for the commoners of Tazima.

Plot Hooks in Tazima:
1 - The annual offering is due to leave when the river hits its lowest in 2d4 days. One of the great families would rather like some honourless mercenaries to head on over and steal a few hearts for their ships instead...
2 - This year, one of the Great Houses is rather inclined to have their ships returned to them after making their offering. They are looking for capable warriors to guard the ships.
3 - One of the Princes of the city has been kidnapped and left to die in the desert. Someone who isn't totally terrified of the sand needs to go out and rescue him.
4 - A spirit of the Jungle came back into the city with a hunting party, impersonating a warrior. Someone needs to find it before it causes any problems.
5 - A great spirit-king of the jungle has captured a group of hunters, with a voice like howling wind and fur like fire. The Great Families would really like their honoured warriors back, regardless of the whims of the Spirit.
6 - A classic; one of the heads of the Great Families is really too good at his job. For the sake of the whole city, they need to die.
7 - A rather large spirit in the guise of a crocodile has taken one of the inter-pyramidal bridges as its new lounging spot, and is apparently asking the populace to pay a toll of either a tooth, a chicken, or a riddle. Deal with it before it gets out of hand or really hungry.
8 - A spirit of the forest has been stealing the hearts of hunters in their sleep, it is unknown how it is accomplishing this.

Recent Stuff

Cafe Prost and the Little Red Notebook

The Jackalope is here, and requires a SACRIFICE. Anne requested the following gift: The Coffee House - Cafe Prost! It is well known i...

This the gud stuph right hear